{"id":3055,"date":"2011-10-07T09:30:39","date_gmt":"2011-10-07T17:30:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/?p=3055"},"modified":"2011-10-07T09:33:48","modified_gmt":"2011-10-07T17:33:48","slug":"transient-witticisms-finn-vol-2-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/2011\/10\/07\/transient-witticisms-finn-vol-2-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Transient Witticisms (Finn Vol. 3)"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Music:\n<ul>\n<li>We&#8217;re in the car, hipping Finn to Johnny Cash: &#8220;&#8216;Don&#8217;t take your guts to town&#8217;? But we have to: they&#8217;re in our tummies!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Strawberry bushes forever!&#8221; sings Finn, listening to the Beatles. He chuckles &amp; shakes his head: &#8220;Johnny Cash\u2026!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Finn applies a pliers to his Pirate&#8217;s Booty snack: &#8220;I&#8217;m Dr. Bootycrusher!!&#8221; (Future R&amp;B alter ego, maybe?)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Patience:\n<ul>\n<li>Our poor amigo is feeling neglected: &#8220;Would you like your iPad taken by bad dudes?&#8221; he asks me. &#8220;Uh, no&#8230; Would *you* like them to take it?&#8221; I ask. &#8220;Yes!!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>At Target Finn points at Mom-O&#8217;s shopping list: &#8220;I think right here it says &#8216;Duh-un,<em>DONE!'&#8221;<\/em><\/li>\n<li>Rebuffed by Margot at the park, Finn tells us, &#8220;Well, I&#8217;m not gonna deal with a person who doesn&#8217;t ride the roller coaster!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>Areas of expertise:\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;The idea,&#8221; Finn&#8217;s advising Margot, &#8220;is don&#8217;t eat a massive burrito and then go on a bunch of rides; otherwise you&#8217;ll puke like Uncle Ted.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Blood is in the whole body,&#8221; Dr. Finn tells his little bro, &#8220;except the crotch &amp; butt-crotch.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>A smirking Finn sneaks up behind me as I try to work from home: &#8220;I see you&#8217;ve found a pleasant hiding spot\u2026&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Morning news: &#8220;Dad-O, I dreamed I cooked an egg under a fruit bar wrapper, and Henry took it, and then he gave me a smack in the butt!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I want a huge bag of ear gunk!&#8221; Finn declares, eyeing a Costco bag of Cheeze-Its. Draw your own conclusions.<\/li>\n<li>Bambinos:\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Dad-O, does Alethea have two babies in her tummy?&#8221; &#8220;Nope, just one.&#8221; &#8220;Then why does she have two boobs?&#8221; <em>Aaand,<\/em> cue that conversation.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Baby Tegan can&#8217;t talk,&#8221; reports Finn, &#8220;but she can shriek. Her shrieking-sound is like a chicken&#8211;a bizarre chicken!!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<li>&#8220;So Finny, how was your Thomas video?&#8221; &#8220;Good. The diesels gave Thomas a wedgie, even though steamies don&#8217;t wear underpants.&#8221;<\/li>\n<ul>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Music: We&#8217;re in the car, hipping Finn to Johnny Cash: &#8220;&#8216;Don&#8217;t take your guts to town&#8217;? But we have to: they&#8217;re in our tummies!&#8221; &#8220;Strawberry bushes forever!&#8221; sings Finn, listening to the Beatles. He chuckles &amp; shakes his head: &#8220;Johnny Cash\u2026!&#8221; Finn applies a pliers to his Pirate&#8217;s Booty snack: &#8220;I&#8217;m Dr. Bootycrusher!!&#8221; (Future R&amp;B [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3055","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-babyslang","category-transient-witticisms"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3055"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3058,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3055\/revisions\/3058"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3055"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3055"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3055"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}