{"id":4261,"date":"2012-12-18T21:36:50","date_gmt":"2012-12-19T05:36:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/?p=4261"},"modified":"2012-12-18T21:36:50","modified_gmt":"2012-12-19T05:36:50","slug":"the-darn-cohaagens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/2012\/12\/18\/the-darn-cohaagens\/","title":{"rendered":"The Darn Cohaagens"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>Brutalizing!<br \/>\nBrutalando!<br \/>\nBrutalini!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>A few months ago, the boys started smothering me in blankets. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen to my brain, but I thought of an Arnold Schwarzenegger line in Total Recall: &#8220;Come on, Cohaagen [the villain], you have what you want, now give the people air!!&#8221;\u2014or as people like to render his accent, &#8220;Give deez people ehyar!!&#8221; From inside the stifling blanket pile I blurted out (in cheesy accent), &#8220;Come on, you little Cohaagens, give the Dad-O air!!&#8221; <em>Man<\/em> was that a hit!<\/p>\n<p>Ever since then, the lads have been requesting &#8220;brutalizing&#8221; (or as they Spanglify it, &#8220;brutalando,&#8221; or in faux-Italian, &#8220;brutalini&#8221;), insisting that they be the Darn Cohaagens while I play Ahnuld. I try to get into the bathroom to turn on the fan (y&#8217;know, to give deez people ehyar), and they race around turning it off, then re-burying me in blankets. <em>Ja, good times!<\/em> \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Cohaagens.gif\" alt=\"\" title=\"Cohaagens\" width=\"499\" height=\"268\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-4290\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Cohaagens.gif 499w, http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/Cohaagens-300x161.gif 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 499px) 100vw, 499px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Brutalizing! Brutalando! Brutalini! A few months ago, the boys started smothering me in blankets. Maybe it was the lack of oxygen to my brain, but I thought of an Arnold Schwarzenegger line in Total Recall: &#8220;Come on, Cohaagen [the villain], you have what you want, now give the people air!!&#8221;\u2014or as people like to render [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4261","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4261","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4261"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4261\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4308,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4261\/revisions\/4308"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4261"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4261"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jnack.com\/micronaxx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4261"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}