Yesterday, as I was getting ready to leave for work, the boys and I were chatting by the back door. A propos of nothing, Finny asked, “Mom-o, how do you tell girl and boy babies apart?”
I knew he already knew the (anatomical) answer, so, Jeopardy-style, I phrased my answer in the form of a question: “Well, Finny, girls and boys look different, don’t they? How would you tell them apart?”
F: “Boys have hair like this (pointing to his hair), and girls have curly hair like you!”
M: “Well, sometimes that’s true, but that’s not the only way to tell. What else is different?”
F: “Boys wear velcro shoes (pointing to his sneakers), and girls don’t (pointing to my flats).”
M: “True. What about their bodies? Do their bodies look different?”
Henry: “Girls wear lipstick!”
Dad-o: {now chuckling audibly offstage, in the TV room}
M: “Well…yes…but there’s one definite way to tell when you look at a naked girl baby or a naked boy baby, right? How do you go to the bathroom?”
F: “Oh! Yeah! Girls don’t have one of these! (pointing to his underpants…)
aaaaand, SCENE.