Finnegan Wakes

Driving around late at night in an attempt to get your overtired infant to sleep gives you a lot of time to think. Finn had a rough go of it last night and would not settle down and go to sleep, so at 9 pm I set out with him in the Green Peanut and circumnavigated San Jose.

Have our lives changed since having a baby? Absolutely yes. Do we love Finn more than we could have imagined? Again, absolutely yes. Are we resentful that we will be sleep deprived for many years to come? Of course. But I remember that he's just an infant, and John and I have the unfair experience and advantage of leading scheduled, planned, and rational lives--something that tiny Finn can't even begin to comprehend yet. And I also know now about some things that change inside you when you become a mother--the mama tiger comes out and you'd do anything to protect your child from harm, pain, green meanies, and sickness. So even while you're hating the fact that you're ineffably tired and you're stuck in the car, driving around endlessly so your kid will sleep, you do it because you love him and you want him to be ok. And then when you get home and he stays asleep for a stretch of 3.5 hours, you feel a little better for everyone involved.