Category: Miscellaneous

Answer: Asleep! (For now, anyway.) And even better, neither he nor I nor the house have caught on fire, fallen into the sea, or anything similarly disastrous.
Today marks a pretty big milestone: Margot had to fly to Seattle for work, and she’s no doubt in the air right now, nearing San Jose. The Squirrelmaster General and I have been kicking it bachelor-style since, oh, 4:40am, ably assisted during the day by Carol.
Tonight I took the small guy on an hour-long walk, bathed him on my own, and got him down to rest (albeit after some false starts and rookie moves by dad; those PJ’s are just *not* gonna go on properly). Who knew that the developmental milestones we’d be celebrating would be mine? 😉

This week marks my second week back at work, and also the passage of my 36th birthday*. The number 36 has been much harder for me to deal with than the mental and emotional challenges of being back at work! I knew I was of “advanced maternal age” while I was pregnant, but somehow, being 36 puts me unequivocally in my Late Thirties. Not something I’m super excited about.
Transitioning back to work has gone relatively smoothly. I was really dreading leaving my little Finn with someone else during the day, and worrying about how he’d deal with the transition. I’m sure this is true for all working moms, and it’s probably harder on the mom than the baby.
The good news is, both he and I are doing really well with it. Our babysitter Carol (not a Nanny, but closer to a surrogate Granny) is terrific, and she and Finn get along like gangbusters. Plus, I get to see Finn at lunchtime, which is nice for the both of us. And knowing that Finn is in really good hands lets my brain focus on work, and I am glad to be back, having just taken on a new, challenging assignment that will demand a lot of my gray matter.
* Meanwhile Finn turned 100–days old, that is.
[PS: Speaking of Carol, here are a pair of shots of the two of them in action. 😉 –J.]

…and hello sleep-deprivation!
Well, it’s official. Finn is now waaaaay too big, even for the Amazing Miracle Blanket we’ve been using to swaddle him for sleep. He keeps busting out of it Incredible Hulk-style, with arms and legs akimbo after only an hour or two in bed. He wakes himself up as he struggles to get untangled, so we’ve decided just to quit swaddling cold turkey.

So the upside is, our little guy is growing up! And the downside is, he probably won’t sleep quite so long or soundly without the confines of the swaddling…with his arms free, he’s more prone to waking himself up or thinking that it’s playtime instead of sleeptime. We got our first taste of this last night, with several wakenings after his 8:30 bedtime (9:30, 10:15, 1:15).

The other factor playing into Mom and Dad’s sleep deprivation is the fact that Finn’s sleeping pattern is evolving, and when he partially wakes in between deep sleep cycles, he’s more awake and often doesn’t resettle very easily. So we SWAT team him with shushing and the pacifier in hopes of getting him back to sleep before he gets a second wind. This is harder during the day/naptime when his room is lighter and there’s more to look at when his eyes open. We had a weekend full of 35-minute naps and unsuccessful attempts to get him to roll over and go back to sleep. So we’re working on it, and believe me, it takes a LOT of patience to try and settle a wakeful, unhappy-about-still-being-in-the-crib baby. For 30 minutes of trying, you may get nowhere, or you may get another 1/2 hour of sleeping. Our babysitter Carol is also doing her part to help get Finn to resettle himself without so much intervention, and we’ll be giving her a Presidential Patience Medal, too!

As a new mom, I have started keeping a mental tally of so-called “losses” related to pregnancy. Some are welcome and expected, others…well, not so much.
Post-pregnancy weight loss? Hooray! I’ll take more of that, please. 35 lbs in one week must be a record, and I have continued to slowly shed the remaining extra 10 lbs of pregnancy weight thanks to breastfeeding.
Losing pregnancy-related constant heartburn? Thank goodness. I was about to become a major shareholder in Gaviscon, but once Finn was born, my heartburn was over.
Losing what seems to be a ton of my hair? No, gracias! This part sucks! Apparently when you’re pregnant, you stop shedding hair. But a few months after you give birth, all that hair you didn’t shed for 9 months starts coming out by the handful. I shed so much I could start my own wig factory! I’m surprised I actually have any hair left, but I guess to the casual observer I look just fine.
Losing sleep? Well, no one’s a big fan of that, but what are you gonna do? Finn’s actually doing really well here, sleeping longer and longer at night, which is a blessing for all of us, so I can’t really complain.

Finn has now successfully completed the transition from sidecar (the co-sleeper in our room) to the crib in his own room. For the past week or so, we have been sleeping in Finn’s room just to make sure things went smoothly. Honestly, sleeping in his room is probably mostly due to my own insecurity about leaving my little boy to sleep alone in his room! We’ve been sleeping next to each other ever since he came home from the hospital, and although I know he will be fine on his own in there, it’s a little hard for me to make the transition.
To help make it easier, we picked up a video baby monitor, a.k.a. FinnTV. This will help us hear and see Finn at night so we can figure out if he’s actually awake and needs attention, or if he’s just rustling around in his sleep. His room is so dark at night you can barely see him to tell if he’s awake or not, so the little videocam with night vision should really help. Because believe me, I want to avoid any unnecessary wake-ups! And now that he’s down to one middle-of-the-night feeding the trip from upstairs to Finn’s room and back won’t be such a big deal. (Oh, and 2 night lights along the stairwell will help, too!)

Among Finn’s little pile of toys (e.g. “Jingle Frog” and “Jingle Duck,” who we think go by “Dave” and “Henrietta” when they’re off duty) is a very large, captivating tube filled with little beads that shuffle noisily from one end to the other. One end of the tube is stamped prominently, “Made in Israel.”
Talking to my Israeli friend Uri yesterday, I mentioned that we play with the “Israttle” and wonder whether this makes Finn an honorary “Israttlite.” He replied, “I’m proud our ancient nation is contributing to your son’s development. We gave the world the Ten Commandments, nagging moms and rattles :)”

We’ve all heard how important it is to recognize and take advantage of “windows of opportunity.” This could not be more true when it comes to getting Finn down for a nap. I have found, through incredibly painful (and loud) trial and error, that one does NOT want to miss the nap window. This window is very distinct and is not open very far, so you’ve got to be alert and slip him through that narrow opening as fast as you can!
I was at my wit’s end last week, trying to get him to nap without going through major histrionics prior to the final surrender to sleep. I’m not kidding–sometimes up to 40 minutes of shooshing, swaddling, rocking, cajoling, crying (both Finn and me), squalling, etc. And then the payoff might only be a 30 minute nap. Frustrating, to say the least.
This was obviously not working for either of us–Finn wasn’t getting good naps, I was getting more exasperated each time I needed to put him down. I reread a bunch of my baby sleep books and rededicated myself to figuring out when the “nap window” opens–i.e. he is sleepy and receptive to relaxing, but not overtired and hard to settle. I also decided to change my soothing strategy–less stimulation during playtime (fewer rattles and jingly things in his face), no rocking or walking around (which is killing my back, since he’s almost 16 lbs! Plus, rocking and walking are additional stimuli).
My new approach: scoop him up on the first big yawn (the second or third is WAY too late), swaddle him, turn on the lullaby CD, dim the room, sit down and start shooshing/patting his bottom. Yes, he still squawks, but only a few short ones before he settles right down and closes his eyes. From start to finish, it takes 10-15 minutes, and then I pop him in the crib. This is exponentially less time than ever before. I almost can’t believe it’s actually working! It feels really good to have turned a corner on naptime! (I have actually done a couple of victory laps around the living room after getting him down.) [She’s not kidding about that! –J.]

Whew. Well this time the vaccinations went much more smoothly. Finn had a full tummy, a preemptive dose of infant Tylenol, and a quick nap before he got the shots. He was remarkably calm, and only cried for a grand total of 5 seconds during and immediately after the shots. As soon as I got him onto my lap, he chilled out completely. Thank God that nurse was so fast with the syringes!
We had another weigh-in as well, just to make sure he’s getting enough to eat. I have been feeding him a bit less each meal in hopes of stemming the fountains of spit-up that accompany every feeding. He’s doing great, of course, as my ever-larger biceps can attest…he is up to 15 lbs 12 oz! The Tiny Giant roars ahead, stomping all smaller, wimpier babies in his path!

It’s 9:02 p.m. and Finn knows EXACTLY where I am. He KNOWS. Even though he’s “asleep” he knows that he’s not in my arms, nor in John’s arrms, which is where he’d most definitely prefer to be. He knows that I am nearby but not nearby enough to make him sleep like the dead.
I have noticed a lot of interesting and also frustrating elements of Finn’s sleep patterns. There’s the 10-Minute Rule, which is the rule that guarantees 10 minutes (almost to the exact second) after you transfer Finn from your arms to the crib or bassinett, he will WAKE UP like a bolt of lightening and start complaining–regardless of how soundly he was sleeping while you were holding him. Honestly, he will be absolutely stone cold motionless in your arms the entire time he’s there, and 10 minutes after you move him, once his little brain catches on, the jig is most definitely up. I’ll let you know what’s happening at 9:12 p.m., exactly 10 minutes after I put him back in his bassinett after he woke up (which was 10 minutes after John put him down for the night).
The 10-Minute Rule is the reason there is so much attempted sleep subterfuge with babies. It seems like we spend a lot of time tricking them into falling asleep, staying asleep, and not letting them catch on that they’ve been transferred to an actual bed. The rocking, shushing, swaddling, swaying, pacifying, ever-so-gentle depositing of said baby into the crib so as not to wake him, it’s all just so much trickery to keep them asleep. And the majority of the time none of it works at all. He wakes up, you start all over again, and hope that the next time it sticks so you can go to sleep. I would be really interested to tally up the number of hours moms and dads spend rocking their kids into submission!
I’m sure these traits are all remnants of primitive man…it was probably pretty critical for little humanoids to be hyper-aware of where they were and whether there was any danger or weirdness afoot, particularly while sleeping. Now how that translates into a 10 minute delay I have no idea. The saber-toothed tiger hovering near the mouth of your cave would certainly have devoured you in less than 10 minutes, right?
Well, it’s 9:13 p.m. and althougth Finn’s making tons of awake-ish noises, I don’t think he’s actually awake. So i’ve outsmarted him for at least 11 minutes this time.

Greetings, fellow Finnthusiasts. 🙂 Our normal pace of “More updates about a largely immobile bambino than anyone would have thought possible” has been slowed a little this week by the unexpected demise of ol’ dad’s hard drive. Fortunately I was able to recover everything (or very close to everything), and my big cache of Finn photos seems safe. Margot and I are busily queuing up entries on “Tot Pattern Baldness,” “Playing the Finnstrument,” and more. Oh, and I hope to have our wee man make his YouTube debut quite soon. Stay tuned!

I’ve hesitated to share this information for fear of jinxing our progress, but it seems to be sticking so here goes…Finn has graduated to sleeping up to 7 hours at a stretch at night! This is a particularly glorious development for Mom, because it means I actually feel like I’m getting decent sleep. For the past week or so, Finn has been lengthening out his first stretch of night sleeping, and once he goes down around 8 or 9 p.m., he sleeps until about 2 or 3 a.m. Hooray! Then he’ll nurse and go back to sleep until 6 or 7 a.m.
So we’re down to 1 middle-of-the-night feeding and keeping our fingers crossed that he keeps working towards an even longer stretch of uninterrupted sleep. I’m crediting not only Finn’s development, but the continued swaddling and the installation of light-blocking shades in his bedroom and our bedroom (where he currently sleeps in his co-sleeper, a.k.a. the bed’s sidecar).

It may not surprise you to find out that John and I have created lots of baby-related slang lately. Here are a few of the most-used:

• diaper burrito: the hermetically sealed plastic sack of diapers from the Diaper Genie II
• baby burrito: a tightly swaddled Finn
• cochecito: stroller (thanks to Adolfo and Romina from Argentina for this one!)
• cachetes guapos: literally “handsome cheeks” in Spanish, also from Adolfo & Romina
• Dipe/di-a-per: diaper. John likes to over-articluate, & I like to shorten words
• a trip to the lecheria: nursing
• snoozando: sleeping Finn (-ando being the equivalent of “ing” in Spanish)

Man, sometimes I’m really thankful that Margot asks about things instead of just wondering in silence. Really glad.
As we may have mentioned, she’s been incredibly diligent about recording Finn’s every feeding, nap, etc. in a pad called “the Captain’s Log” (after Captain Squirrelulon, of course). A few days ago I was listening to NPR and heard a funny bit about people trying to say things in foreign languages and the trouble that can result. Later I heard Margot exclaim,
“I… ‘I like to sleep on fat sailors, the ace up your hole’… Whaaat??”
I’d jotted down a couple of the funny mistranslations in the log (the only pen and paper within reach), but without giving them any label or explanation. I had to explain quickly:

• An American guy had gone camping with some Germans and tried to say, “I like to sleep on thick mattresses,” but he instead said, “I like to sleep on fat sailors”
• An Indian guy was trying to calm down an irate customer and wanted to say, “That’s your ace in the hole” or “That’s the ace up your sleeve,” but instead managed to say, “That’s the ace up your hole.” He said that this at least broke the tension. 🙂

Needless to say, if I write weird bits in the log again, I’ll take the time to explain the context!

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I really wanted to breastfeed Finn–there are so many health benefits, it’s far less expensive and easier to tote around than formula, and it’s great for mom/baby bonding. There was really no question in my mind. I found it very interesting that when we went to the breastfeeding class at the hospital, they spent a lot of time selling breastfeeding to us based on its health benefits (smarter kids, better immunity, less colic, etc.). They also (rightfully) discussed the facts about getting started breastfeeding. It’s not like falling off a log, to put it mildly. It takes work, and patience, trial and error, ice packs, and lanolin until you finally get it right. I appreciate all the breastfeeding moms I know being very honest with me about that–it helped set my expectations.
And now that I’ve been at it for a couple of months, what I find the most interesting is what the classes and the other moms didn’t mention at all, and that is that breastfeeding is also a very emotionally intense and sometimes fraught experience. I had no idea how many different emotions would be wrapped around nursing my child! When he’s super fussy, yelling and pumping his fists in front of my breasts instead of just calmly nursing, it hurts my feelings and makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong (answer: nothing! he probably has to burp!). When he’s nursing every 90 minutes or 2 hours, you feel like an indentured servant to your child, because you’re the only one that can nourish him. And of course you want him to thrive and be happy and healthy, but sometimes the sheer monotony of sitting still while he nurses for 30 min to 45 min at a time can really drive you up the wall. (I had to impose a boycott of NPR for awhile since that’s what I listen to while I nurse. We switched to the jazz station!).
It’s definitely a yeoman’s job–you just have to stick with it, work through it, and try not to take things so personally when it’s not going so well. And in my case, thanks to Captain Reflux, you have to get used to wearing a lot of spit-up breastmilk that you wish he was able to keep down!

Before having Finn on the scene, I was completely clueless about how much time and effort taking care of an infant entails. I wondered why moms at the grocery store or out and about looked so bedraggled and why they dressed like schlumps…Well, now I know why. When your baby eats every 2 hours, and it takes him 30 minutes to eat, then another 30-60 of playtime/getting sleepy before he finally goes down for a nap that might only last 30 minutes, you don’t have ANY time to do anything like take a shower or comb your hair. And if your baby’s like Finn, and takes spitting up to the heavyweight level, all of your clothes are going to be covered, to varying degrees, with spit up anyway, so why would you put on anything decent?

It kind of reminds me of when I moved to Seattle. Grunge fashion started making sense once I’d spent a couple months slogging through endless days of drizzle, ruining my shoes and destroying pant-hems with water and grime. Why not just buy all your clothes at goodwill and never bother to wash them?

I do, however, manage to shower, usually once John gets home and I have him to back me up. And thank God for lipstick: it’s the easiest and most effective way to pull myself together before I go out, in an attempt not to look completely worn out. I think the lipstick must distract people from the dark rings around my eyes.

A lot of our parent-friends told us about Harvey Karp M.D., author of “The Happiest Baby On The Block”. It’s a book about how to help calm and soothe your newborn, and the techniques in the book are also designed to help your baby sleep longer and more soundly. We have Dr. Karp’s instructional video as well as his book. I have 6 words for Harvey:
Dr. Karp, you are a GENIUS.
We are using most of the tools and techniques to calm Finn down when he spirals into a meltdown, and to keep him asleep during the night. Swaddling and “shooshing” are the techniques we use the most, and man do they work like a charm. The swinging and sucking (pacifier) layered on top are almost 100% guaranteed to result in Finn becoming absolutely placid and most importantly, asleep when he’s fighting it. Swaddling alone has resulted in Finn sleeping an extra 30 min to an hour between night feedings, and has also added some time to his naps. The shooshing and swinging help get him in the mood before I lay him in the crib. Honestly, we would be up a creek without Dr. Karp’s insights.
Just today I have avoided or shortened a couple of near-meltdowns prior to naptime, making the Nack household a happier and calmer place. Let’s hope we can keep it up!

Finn and I went to the New Moms Support Group at the hospital today, just to hang out with some other moms and babies, and to get out of the house. There were a TON of folks attending, probably 20 moms and their babies, ranging from 3 weeks to 7 months old. It’s a nice place to meet and chat with other moms, and I walked away with a few good tidbits of information that I wouldn’t have otherwise known:
1. Finn is a tiny colossus! Compared to most of the other babies, even the ones that are 4 and 5 months old, he is much bigger and more robust. He could take on any of those head-controlling, sitting-up wimps any day! I honestly had no idea he was so big for his age. The other 7-week old baby in attendance was tiny in comparison! His size is deceiving–maybe that’s why John and I keep expecting him to start reciting Shakespeare, practice his stand-up comedy routines, and start driving the car any day 🙂 [Seriously, last night I dreamt that he helped me assemble a crib! –J.]
2. The Miracle Blanket–my new answer to the problem of Finn being too big for the receiving blankets I’ve been trying to use to swaddle him. He keeps busting loose because the blanket is just too small to properly bundle him up and stay tight. A few of the other moms use the Miracle Blanket and swear by it, and one even had an extra that she just dropped off for me to try, so we’ll give it a shot. Basically it has extra little flaps to help keep baby’s arms straight down by his sides, and is extra long so you can wrap it around his body 2 times instead of 3/4 time like the receiving blanket.
3. It is (unfortunately for me!) totally normal for Finn to be eating every 2 hours at this stage. Babies need to eat 8-12 times a day depending on size/age, so he’s totally average. The good news is that he goes longer at night between feeds, and lets me sleep for 3 hours or so at a time.

Otherwise known as the Six Degrees of Aggravation: relaxed (or not-so-much) states of Finn, in high/low order of magnitude:
1. Beet-red faced howling, fists and legs pumping furiously
2. Periodic squalls, fists clenched, body stiff as plywood, fighting sleep
3. Smallish fussy whimpers, fairly relaxed body except for those fists (still fighting sleep)
4. Awake, aware, calm, possibly smiling and cooing (a.k.a. “nice to be around”)
5. Drowsy and relaxed (mom’s almost tricked me into falling asleep!)
6. Limp as a wet lasagna noodle, hands open, snoring
[Dad puts us at about a 3.6 right this minute. 🙂 –J.]

All experienced parents tell you that all the trials and tribulations of the first several weeks are worth it, and practically disappear from your memory as soon as your baby gives you his first real smile.
I don’t know if my memory banks will be wiped completely clean, but I will say, now that Finn’s started smiling, it really does light me up inside and out. He is just so darn adorable when he decides to break open a big wide smile that goes all the way up to the corners of his eyes, and reveals that little dimple on his left cheek. He’s just recently started to purposefully smile–totally distinguishable from “practice” smiling or sleep grins. What’s weird is that he’ll even smile while he’s spitting up (?!). (Sometimes, that is.)
Long live the baby smile! We love knowing that our boy is happy.

Finn makes a lot of noise when he sleeps. I mean a LOT. And there’s a definite cycle of sounds that he goes through when he is in REM sleep (vs. the deep, limp-noodle slumber). He goes through a series of grunts, throat-clearings, squeaks, sighs, squawks, and other vocalizations. I liken him to Aqua Man–who had the power to communicate with fish…
But while Aqua Man used only his telepathic brain to communicate with anything aquatic, I think Finn is more specifically communicating with pods of migrating whales. We haven’t yet narrowed down his specific whale song, but I think it’s either gray or humpback whales. We are kind of waiting to see which breed shows up at our doorstep at 3am, asking to chat with Finn. We’ll let you know who comes a-callin’.