Babyslang Transient Witticisms

Transient Witticisms (Finn Vol. 3)

  • Music:
    • We’re in the car, hipping Finn to Johnny Cash: “‘Don’t take your guts to town’? But we have to: they’re in our tummies!”
    • “Strawberry bushes forever!” sings Finn, listening to the Beatles. He chuckles & shakes his head: “Johnny Cash…!”
    • Finn applies a pliers to his Pirate’s Booty snack: “I’m Dr. Bootycrusher!!” (Future R&B alter ego, maybe?)
  • Patience:
    • Our poor amigo is feeling neglected: “Would you like your iPad taken by bad dudes?” he asks me. “Uh, no… Would *you* like them to take it?” I ask. “Yes!!”
    • At Target Finn points at Mom-O’s shopping list: “I think right here it says ‘Duh-un,DONE!'”
    • Rebuffed by Margot at the park, Finn tells us, “Well, I’m not gonna deal with a person who doesn’t ride the roller coaster!”
  • Areas of expertise:
    • “The idea,” Finn’s advising Margot, “is don’t eat a massive burrito and then go on a bunch of rides; otherwise you’ll puke like Uncle Ted.”
    • “Blood is in the whole body,” Dr. Finn tells his little bro, “except the crotch & butt-crotch.”
  • A smirking Finn sneaks up behind me as I try to work from home: “I see you’ve found a pleasant hiding spot…”
  • Morning news: “Dad-O, I dreamed I cooked an egg under a fruit bar wrapper, and Henry took it, and then he gave me a smack in the butt!”
  • “I want a huge bag of ear gunk!” Finn declares, eyeing a Costco bag of Cheeze-Its. Draw your own conclusions.
  • Bambinos:
    • “Dad-O, does Alethea have two babies in her tummy?” “Nope, just one.” “Then why does she have two boobs?” Aaand, cue that conversation.
    • “Baby Tegan can’t talk,” reports Finn, “but she can shriek. Her shrieking-sound is like a chicken–a bizarre chicken!!”
  • “So Finny, how was your Thomas video?” “Good. The diesels gave Thomas a wedgie, even though steamies don’t wear underpants.”

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