Skip to the content
- Finn’s stuffed, but he swears he’ll find room for a donut: “My tummy has a garbage truck crusher-blade in it!”
- “Dad-O, when we grow up, we’re only going to eat pasta, bacon, and Nutella!” I’m way ahead of you, boys—way ahead! #livingthedream
- I guess we can forget about the boys getting that big Crest endorsement deal: “This tastes like being electrocuted!!”
- Henry eyes a giant tank of horchata (super sugary rice milk), then presents me with a batting helmet: “Fill this up with it!” Best/worst idea ever.
- “Krispies are for closers!!” — me, trying to bribe the boys into finishing their sandwiches
- Finn befouls our sheets with crumbs, sucks them up: “I’m a street sweeper!” First time I’ve kicked someone out of bed for eating crackers.
- We call our food-distended tummies “food babies.” Henry pats his: “I’ve got a whole food preschool in mine!”
- “You’ve gotta lay off that Coke, Dad-O,” Finn informs me. “You’re gonna end up allergic to water!”
- “I’m not making a mess,” explains Henry, sprinkling Oat Squares on the carpet. “I’m making dinner for the ghost in the basement.”