Transient Witticisms

Transient Witticisms: Micronaxx Feasts

  • Finn’s stuffed, but he swears he’ll find room for a donut: “My tummy has a garbage truck crusher-blade in it!”
  • “Dad-O, when we grow up, we’re only going to eat pasta, bacon, and Nutella!” I’m way ahead of you, boys—way ahead! #livingthedream
  • I guess we can forget about the boys getting that big Crest endorsement deal: “This tastes like being electrocuted!!”
  • Henry eyes a giant tank of horchata (super sugary rice milk), then presents me with a batting helmet: “Fill this up with it!” Best/worst idea ever.
  • “Krispies are for closers!!” — me, trying to bribe the boys into finishing their sandwiches
  • Finn befouls our sheets with crumbs, sucks them up: “I’m a street sweeper!” First time I’ve kicked someone out of bed for eating crackers.
  • We call our food-distended tummies “food babies.” Henry pats his: “I’ve got a whole food preschool in mine!”
  • “You’ve gotta lay off that Coke, Dad-O,” Finn informs me. “You’re gonna end up allergic to water!”
  • “I’m not making a mess,” explains Henry, sprinkling Oat Squares on the carpet. “I’m making dinner for the ghost in the basement.”

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