Babyslang Transient Witticisms

Transient Witticisms: Chow Hounds

  • Sugar highs:
    • The boys wake up, bouncing around.
      Finn: “We need donuts to be little champs!!”
      Henry: “Yeah, I don’t have ENERGY. I’m a lazy BONE!!”
    • Finn emerges from his nap, whispering: “Remember our plan? [sings quietly] ‘Sugar in the mornin’, sugar in the evenin’, sugar at suppertime!'”
  • My workout terminology intrigues Finn. “‘Flat flies’? Sounds like you’re making fly pancakes.”
  • Henry turns to me: “Dad-O, I’m a pickle.”
    Me: “A… what?
    H: “Yeah: I’m picking my boogies.”
  • Pretzel power:
    • Southwest Airlines must season their pretzels with “bath salts,” given Finn’s reaction. “Aaagh, I want to suck your arm hair!!” (I suggest that he enjoy his own. “But I just have peach fuzz!!” he protests.)
    • I hear the boys singing in the kitchen: “Auntie Laura’s pretzels bring all the boys to the yard/That’s right, they’re better than yours…”
  • Proud Moments In Fatherhood: 4yo nudist streaks past brandishing a beef jerky stick while chanting, “Bang me in the head with a meat stick!”

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