Author: The Notorious M.O.M.

Well, we’re officially declaring an end to Finn’s infant stage. He’s moved very comfortably into being a tot. What’s the difference? Well, according to our unscientific poll (respondents include me, John, and our babysitter, Carol), there are some significant achievements that catapult a baby into tot-hood. The biggies include rolling from front to back and back to front, deliberate reaching, grabbing, and object manipulation, laughing, eating baby food, having teeth (#3 just appeared yesterday!), sitting up, and the ability to self-entertain.
Another thing that we think marks totdom is the fact that we are able to communicate with Finn and he with us. No, we’re not discussing Nietzsche, but we are able to tell when he wants things, when he’s happy, tired, or working on some new skills. Speaking of which, John is helping him “walk” towards me right now!

Finn’s had an interesting week. I think his two front teeth are about to make their big entrance, and it’s really thrown little Finno for a loop. I also think he’s got a lot going on mentally and physically as he’s sitting up all the time, and his dexterity keeps improving. There’s so much to learn how to do! (And it is with much glee that I tell you he seems to be favoring his left hand!)
Because of all this new and sometimes painful stuff, he’s been uncharacteristically fussy during the day. Nothing keeps him satisfied for long, and as we switch him from one location to the next, or try to distract him with toys, he squirms and cries and makes really strange expressions with his mouth. Although he’s been sleeping pretty well at night (thank goodness!!) his naps this week have been either very short or nonexistent, which does not help with his attitude. An overtired, teething Finn is not much fun to be around.
I think the good news here is that John and I are really relaxing into being parents, and we’re feeling a lot more competent and pragmatic when Finn is inconsolable, uncomfortable, or just won’t sleep. I guess we’ve hit the point of realizing that stuff is going to happen, you can’t plan for it, and you can’t always make it better or know how it’ll turn out, so you just do the best you can and try to keep your little guy cooled out (if possible). The phrase “this too shall pass” keeps popping up in my head–made very real by experiences with Finn that while unpleasant or unpredictable, do actually end at some point.
6 month check-up on Tuesday! We’ll report Finn’s stats. Any guesses on weight? (I’m saying 19lbs. Dude is HEAVY!)

Finn keeps racking up new skills on a daily basis. It’s happening so fast we can hardly keep up! One of the best changes made itself known last night, and we’re hoping it’s the start of a beautiful new chapter in our lives. Finn slept 11 hours straight, from 7pm to 6am! Woohoo!!!
We’ve been giving him small portions of rice cereal in the evening to see if a) he’ll eat it, b) he likes it, and c) it will help him sleep longer. The results on all three counts are positive. He literally lunges at the spoon when he sees it coming, and gobbled down the entire bowl of cereal last night (which was 1 tablespoon of cereal to a few tablespoons of milk, proferred in a zillion teeny-tiny spoonfuls). I figured he was ready to start test-driving food when he was constantly making chewing motions and observing us carefully as we’d eat and drink.
So, with an 11-hour stretch of sleep under our collective belts (that equals eight uninterrupted hours of sleep for me, since I won’t go to bed at 7 p.m.!), we’ll keep up the evening cereal and see if we can establish a trend.

Our Finn has been demonstrating some Olympic-style talents today. We’re having a tough time determining which particular feat is most deserving of a gold medal, so we’re taking a survey. Let us know which act is the biggest accomplishment, then we’ll dial up the officials and request a medal!

1. Sitting up from a lying position almost unassisted
2. Eating his first bites of semi-solid food (rice cereal)
3. Tripod sitting (Finn propping himself up on his arms)
4. Plank pose (Finn on hands and toes, body straight like a pushup)
5. Taking nasty-tasting/smelling vitamins without complaint

We’re celebrating John’s birthday today (8-8-8!), which is also our last day in “Big G,” Galena Illinois (John’s hometown). We’ve been in Illinois since Monday, after a long, and to be totally honest, totally brutal journey out here. John and I are convinced that our trip from San Francisco to O’Hare was designed as an experiment in cruelty for new parents. Long story short, after a multitude of delays and several totally understandable meltdowns by a tired Finn, we made it to our hotel at about midnight local time. We made it without baggage or a car seat, but at that point we didn’t even care.

While Monday was mostly a downer, Tuesday was a mix of ups and downs. We got our baggage and cleaned ourselves up. We had two scheduled visits with most of John’s mom’s relatives in Chicago–all of her sisters and many of their children and grandchildren. We had a great time visiting with folks we hadn’t seen since our wedding, and introducing them to Finn. In between outings, we tried to get our sleep-deprived boy down for an afternoon nap, but it ended up just being two hours of crying.

After our second family visit, we returned once again to the hotel. Little did we know that naptime was only a taste of what was to come, and what we later dubbed “The Battle of La Quinta.” Suffice it to say that with only a 1-hour morning nap under his belt, Finn was completely overtired and completely overstimulated. We put Finn down to bed following our usual routine. He slept for 30 minutes then spent the next three hours crying and screaming his brains out. Nothing would calm him down, and we were all crammed into our hotel room, each trying to gut it out in our own way. Finally Finn wore himself out and slept for 10 hours straight.

Once we arrived in Galena, Finn’s schedule has evened out, and we’ve had a couple of more normal days. We’re happily back on the upside. Finn’s been catching up on his sleep and being a *lot* more fun to be around.

Thursday brought many of the Liggett relatives out from Wisconsin and other parts of Illinois, including my aunt, uncle, two cousins, and a few of cousin Brad’s kids. It was great to see them all, and Finn got a beautiful handmade quilt from his aunt. Thursday also brought many Nack relatives as well! John’s cousin Alicia, her husband Fito, and their adorable son Alejandro flew in from Texas and pitstopped in Galena on their way to Iowa for a funeral. The “lawyer Nacks” also came by–Joe, then Tommy and his wife Sarah, and their son Gus (3 months older than Finn).

Another “up”: Last night, John and I got to go on a hot air balloon ride with his brother Ted and girlfriend Stephanie. It was a gorgeous evening and floating over the idyllic rolling countryside was amazing. We wished Finn was old enough to enjoy it, but it’s motivation for us to do it again. Today brings us to John’s birthday party later this afternoon, so Finn is resting up so he can sparkle for the party guests!

Tomorrow we drive back to O’Hare for our flight out. After Monday’s ordeal, we were miraculously able to reschedule our return flight, which had us flying through Dallas and arriving home at midnight, to a much more reasonable nonstop back to SFO. That should cut about 6 hours off our travel day and hopefully keep Finn a little more even-keeled.

My work situation is really ideal when it comes to work/life balance. Right now I get a lot of time with Finn since I don’t have an epic commute to and from work every day. I also get to see Finny at lunch for some cuddle and playtime, which is great.
I think I’ve gotten kind of spoiled, because when I do have to travel for work (which is only 1 day at a time), I’m amazed by how much I miss my squirrel! It really makes my day to see him first thing in the morning, smiling and babbling when he wakes up. After he eats, we play for a little while until I go to work. It’s a fantastic way to start the morning, and Finn is such a happy guy it just lights me (and his dad) up. And at the end of the day, it’s great to hang with Finn and do bathtime, storytime, and bedtime. Lots of goofing around and smiles, and lots of snuggles before we tuck him in.
Yesterday I was out the door by 5 a.m., and back at 10:15 p.m., so my only squirrel time was gazing at my sleeping boy. It made this morning that much sweeter–hearing him wake up and start talking to Leo, his stuffed lion, and then going down to greet him was terrific. There’s nothing like looking into those smiley big blue eyes and giving my boy a squeeze to start the day.

Finn has recently become a huge fan of being on his tummy. We always put him down to sleep on his back, and within seconds, he has rolled over onto his tummy. There he remains for his entire nap or night’s sleep. Initially, we’d go in and flip him back over, but inevitably he’d roll over again within minutes, so we stopped intervening. He seems to be sleeping better, and we’re all for that. Between tummy sleeping and sleep training, we have been catching a lot more zzz’s as a family than we were a couple weeks ago.
Finn hasn’t yet worked out how to roll himself back over to his side or his back, so it’s a good thing he doesn’t complain about spending all that time on his belly! We’re trying to give him plenty of opportunities during playtime to figure out how to get off his stomach. He’s *thisclose* and we think he’ll get it figured out in a few more days.

As a new mother, I am spending a lot of time learning about babies and sleep. Sleep is critical to a baby’s health and development, and I want to help Finn develop good sleep habits. When he was 2-3 months old, he spoiled us by sleeping for seven- or nine-hour stretches without a peep. As he got older and his sleep cycles changed, he started waking up more often and seemed to need our help to get back to sleep. Recently, we have found that our “help” ends up aggravating him and making it even more difficult for him to settle. After doing a lot of reading, working to set up good habits and sleep rituals over the past couple of months, and consulting with our pediatrician, John and I have agreed to try the “progressive waiting” technique developed by Dr. Richard Ferber, to help Finn learn to go to sleep and fall back asleep on his own.
We know that everyone will not agree with this approach. Sleep training techniques are very polarizing, and Ferber’s technique is often referred to as “crying it out”, making it sound like heartless, cruel, and unusual punishment. Now, having read his book and talked to our doc, and taking into account Finn’s personality and tendencies, we feel that this method will work well, and is the most efficient way for Finn to learn to settle himself. In a nutshell, you want your baby to learn to put himself to sleep without relying on sleep crutches like rocking, patting, shooshing, etc., which we think are helpful things, but actually aren’t (as evidenced by Finn ratcheting up the crying and wakefulness when we show up).
Ferber’s technique is a structured way to let your baby learn how to do this on his own with a minimum of interference from us. We go in and briefly check on/reassure him at prescribed intervals until he falls asleep on his own. And according to our doc, the earlier you can teach your baby how to take care of himself, the less likely it is they will have sleep problems as they get older (and which are harder to resolve as they age).
We’re on night #2, and so far, Finn is doing really well. Last night we checked on him twice, and right after that, he fell asleep. A grand total of about 40 minutes spent on “Ferberizing.” He awoke at 11:30pm and we did the intervals again, and he only needed one check. Tonight, we put him to bed and only checked on him once after 12 minutes, then he put himself to sleep. We’re also doing this at naptime and he’s making progress there, too. We were already 75% of the way there since we’d already set up a predictable bedtime routine, and had started putting Finn in the crib while he was awake, and then sticking around and soothing him to sleep.
We love our little guy, and we know he’s smart enough and capable enough to learn to soothe himself, and so far he’s proving us right on all counts. Good sleep habits are good for the whole family, and a well-rested Finn makes everyone happy.

This week marks my second week back at work, and also the passage of my 36th birthday*. The number 36 has been much harder for me to deal with than the mental and emotional challenges of being back at work! I knew I was of “advanced maternal age” while I was pregnant, but somehow, being 36 puts me unequivocally in my Late Thirties. Not something I’m super excited about.
Transitioning back to work has gone relatively smoothly. I was really dreading leaving my little Finn with someone else during the day, and worrying about how he’d deal with the transition. I’m sure this is true for all working moms, and it’s probably harder on the mom than the baby.
The good news is, both he and I are doing really well with it. Our babysitter Carol (not a Nanny, but closer to a surrogate Granny) is terrific, and she and Finn get along like gangbusters. Plus, I get to see Finn at lunchtime, which is nice for the both of us. And knowing that Finn is in really good hands lets my brain focus on work, and I am glad to be back, having just taken on a new, challenging assignment that will demand a lot of my gray matter.
* Meanwhile Finn turned 100–days old, that is.
[PS: Speaking of Carol, here are a pair of shots of the two of them in action. 😉 –J.]

…and hello sleep-deprivation!
Well, it’s official. Finn is now waaaaay too big, even for the Amazing Miracle Blanket we’ve been using to swaddle him for sleep. He keeps busting out of it Incredible Hulk-style, with arms and legs akimbo after only an hour or two in bed. He wakes himself up as he struggles to get untangled, so we’ve decided just to quit swaddling cold turkey.

So the upside is, our little guy is growing up! And the downside is, he probably won’t sleep quite so long or soundly without the confines of the swaddling…with his arms free, he’s more prone to waking himself up or thinking that it’s playtime instead of sleeptime. We got our first taste of this last night, with several wakenings after his 8:30 bedtime (9:30, 10:15, 1:15).

The other factor playing into Mom and Dad’s sleep deprivation is the fact that Finn’s sleeping pattern is evolving, and when he partially wakes in between deep sleep cycles, he’s more awake and often doesn’t resettle very easily. So we SWAT team him with shushing and the pacifier in hopes of getting him back to sleep before he gets a second wind. This is harder during the day/naptime when his room is lighter and there’s more to look at when his eyes open. We had a weekend full of 35-minute naps and unsuccessful attempts to get him to roll over and go back to sleep. So we’re working on it, and believe me, it takes a LOT of patience to try and settle a wakeful, unhappy-about-still-being-in-the-crib baby. For 30 minutes of trying, you may get nowhere, or you may get another 1/2 hour of sleeping. Our babysitter Carol is also doing her part to help get Finn to resettle himself without so much intervention, and we’ll be giving her a Presidential Patience Medal, too!

As a new mom, I have started keeping a mental tally of so-called “losses” related to pregnancy. Some are welcome and expected, others…well, not so much.
Post-pregnancy weight loss? Hooray! I’ll take more of that, please. 35 lbs in one week must be a record, and I have continued to slowly shed the remaining extra 10 lbs of pregnancy weight thanks to breastfeeding.
Losing pregnancy-related constant heartburn? Thank goodness. I was about to become a major shareholder in Gaviscon, but once Finn was born, my heartburn was over.
Losing what seems to be a ton of my hair? No, gracias! This part sucks! Apparently when you’re pregnant, you stop shedding hair. But a few months after you give birth, all that hair you didn’t shed for 9 months starts coming out by the handful. I shed so much I could start my own wig factory! I’m surprised I actually have any hair left, but I guess to the casual observer I look just fine.
Losing sleep? Well, no one’s a big fan of that, but what are you gonna do? Finn’s actually doing really well here, sleeping longer and longer at night, which is a blessing for all of us, so I can’t really complain.

Finn has now successfully completed the transition from sidecar (the co-sleeper in our room) to the crib in his own room. For the past week or so, we have been sleeping in Finn’s room just to make sure things went smoothly. Honestly, sleeping in his room is probably mostly due to my own insecurity about leaving my little boy to sleep alone in his room! We’ve been sleeping next to each other ever since he came home from the hospital, and although I know he will be fine on his own in there, it’s a little hard for me to make the transition.
To help make it easier, we picked up a video baby monitor, a.k.a. FinnTV. This will help us hear and see Finn at night so we can figure out if he’s actually awake and needs attention, or if he’s just rustling around in his sleep. His room is so dark at night you can barely see him to tell if he’s awake or not, so the little videocam with night vision should really help. Because believe me, I want to avoid any unnecessary wake-ups! And now that he’s down to one middle-of-the-night feeding the trip from upstairs to Finn’s room and back won’t be such a big deal. (Oh, and 2 night lights along the stairwell will help, too!)