Categories
Babyslang

Babyslang: Kitchen Bestiary Edition

Time to whip out the Nack Family Secret Decoder Ring again. ūüôā ¬†Here are some recent additions to our slangy canon:

  • Cheesy Zebras: Quesadillas. ¬†Noticing the toasted stripes made by our panini press when warming a tortilla, Finn declared, “That a zebra right there!” ¬†And thus were Cheesy Zebras born.
  • Macaws: Green beans. ¬†This one isn’t new, actually, but I’ve forgotten to mention it previously. ¬†Finn took a big shine to the big-beaked birds in his books, and he decided that the long tapering ends of some green beans resemble Macaws. ¬†Thus at dinner he started saying things like, “Macaw! Eat the beak! Come *heeeere*, Macaw!! (haaup!).”
  • K Dak-oh-Dahs: Okay, this one is a little complicated. ¬†Finn used to pronounce “Cock-a-doodle-doo” as “Dak-oh-Dah!”–which, when you think about it, is probably closer to what a rooster actually says.¬†¬†Anyway, due to the rooster on the package, Corn Flakes became “Dak-oh-Dahs.” ¬†Thus Finn dubbed Mom-O’s box of Special K “K Dak-oh-Dahs.”
  • Plutocrat: Sir Topham Hatt, or alternately Finny (“That a plutocrat right there!” he says, tapping his chest proudly). ¬†Power to the people!
  • Adobe drips: For some reason, Finn decided that his bath bubbles are Adobe (“That a bunch of Adobe down there!”). ¬†He’s gotten way into dousing himself in the tub, and now he’s turned the little lobster cup on dad, pouring water & bubbles onto the front of my head. “That Adobe drippin’ down! Adobe drips!” ¬†Somehow I started channeling our neighbor ladies’ band and singing, “Pour some Adobe on meeee, in the name of love; Pour some Adobe on meeee, ’cause I need a hug.” ¬†(I’d write “Apologies to Def Leppard,” but isn’t it really they who owe all of us an apology?)
  • Dinka-Dinka OHyang: I work with a nice lady named Jackie Lincoln-Owyang who has a couple of kids of her own. ¬†She gave Finn a couple of books, and when I told Margot where they came from, Finn said, “Dinka Dinka OHyang!” ¬†Later he started grabbing random objects (e.g. an empty Coke carton) and saying, “That a Jackie Lincoln!” ¬†Here you can hear us talking about it. ūüôā (Press the little “Play” arrow below.)
[audio:http://www.jnack.com/micronaxx/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/JLO.mp3|titles=JLO]
Categories
Babyslang Videos

Babyslang 2010

Join us again, won’t you, for another trip through the Not-So-Secret Nack Family Decoder Ring! ¬†Recent additions to our weirdo canon:

  • Meat Cigars: Finn & Mom-O have devised a new snack consisting of rolled-up turkey slices that hide a delicious cream cheese payload. ¬†These double at fun–and completely ineffective–telescopes. ¬†Fair warning, though: that usage tends to result in a toddler with a case of Cheesy Eyeball.
  • Beating Sticks: Oh, this one will be hard to explain in mixed company someday. ¬†On weekends, Finny & Dad-O like to go to “Traintrack Park,” grab fallen tree branches, and chase each other around with them. My playful threats to “beat that butt!” have led Finn to ask for “Mo’ beating sticks!”
  • Dipit Cheese: Pretzels being “dipits,” cream cheese (into which they’re dipped) is now “dipit cheese.”
  • Delicious Pocket: That’s how the big guy says “Tlaquepaque,” the name of the Mexican restaurant down the street. ¬†Now we can’t drive by without him pointing out, “Delicious Pocket sign! ¬†Delicious Pocket wagon!”
  • Bonk: Finn-ese for “Cheers,” as he noted during our Thanksgiving toast.
  • OhJeez: Over Christmas break, Finn grabbed some toilet paper and started tearing it with gusto. “Dad-O say ‘Oh Jeez!,'” he was delighted to report. ¬†From there it was “Do mo’ OhJeez; Mo’ OhJeez in the crib!” ¬†It was all fun and paper-pulverizing games until Mom-O found a shredded pile stashed beneath his bed.
  • GatoDipes: Not to be left out entirely, little Henry has upgraded to new, heavy-duty “GatoDipes”–the better to contain his newly crib-wasting bladder!

Bonus: Here’s a little taste of OhJeez. (No real mystery about Margot’s lack of enthusiasm for the practice. ;-))

Categories
Babyslang

Babyslang, Volume 7

The verbal hijinks never stop here at Chez Nack. Here is our latest list of slang that’s in common use with Finn:

  1. Shat Trick: Like the hockey “hat trick“, we’ve learned to wait, wait, and then wait a little longer before changing Finn’s (or Henry’s) poopy dipe…inevitably just when you think he’s done, there’s more coming.
  2. No Pat No: Knives, scissors, or other sharp objects. Coined from Dr. Seuss’s Hop On Pop, where the character Pat is advised not to sit on a cactus. When Finn sees us cutting up food, he says “No Pat no!”
  3. DPT: Shorthand for Finn’s Dipetorium.
  4. Dipeteria: The name for Henry’s changing table. Hey, we can’t have two dipetoria!
  5. MoMo’s/DipIt’s: Pretzels dipped in chive/onion cream cheese. A Finny snack favorite introduced to us by our nanny, “Coco”. Finn used to just say “more! more!” then he graduated to commanding us to “dip it!” (the pretzel that is) in more cheese before polishing it off.
  6. Dr. Dipechek: Dad-o doing a quick visual inspection of Finny’s dipe to see if it needs triage.
  7. Choco-Boca: Anything chocolate + Finn’s mouth. Could be chocolate ice cream, a piece of chocolate candy, or Mom-o’s chocolate-flavored Luna bars. Finn gets very melodious and starts singing “choco-booooooca!” over and over when he knows he’s in for a treat.
  8. Gooniecam: The handheld video monitor/receiver for Henry’s room.
  9. No Mo’ Ocho: Used when discussing exactly how many Ochos (like our Audi A8) there are (or aren’t) in the universe.
  10. *SLAM!* (“Mo’ Slam!!”): Dad-o and Finny roughhousing in Finn’s room.
  11. *DUMP!* (“Mo’ Dump!!”): Finn dumping any given item or items out of a container (crackers, blocks, bathwater).
  12. Adios!! (with a hand-waving flourish): What we say when we’re leaving, or when someone is leaving us.
Categories
Babyslang

The “Goonie” Nomenclature

Yes yes, we know: Not everyone (anyone?) besides Margot, Finn, & me is a fan of calling Henry “Goonie.” My dad pointed this out on the way to the airport this morning.

“People will think he’s… special,” he opined.

“You know, Dad,” I replied, “as far as that goes, we feel about the same as you do about memorizing wine details: we just don’t care.”

Moments later we pulled up at the curb behind a minivan full of scruffy characters, including a middle-aged guy sporting a tank top & a raft of tattoos.

“Oh, since you guys are early, Dad, you could hang out with that guy,” I suggested. “Y’know, maybe get some ink done–get sleeved.”

“Oh yeah,” my dad shot back, “and you know what that guy’s name is? Goonie.”

Well played, sir; well played. ūüôā

Categories
Babyslang

Babyslang, Volume 6

Join us, won’t you, for another installment of What The Heck Are John & Margot Talking About??

  • KOBI: King of Bad Ideas. I used to wear this questionable crown more often, but I’m doing my best to ditch the title.
  • SAGI: Semi-Annual Good Idea. When not in KOBI mode, I manage to come up with the ever-so-occasional decent idea.
  • Nastication: Combines “Nasty” and “Mastication”–as in, Finny chewing on something just long enough to make it really gross, then displaying it to M&D (or trying to feed it to us!)
  • Geyser Permanente: Describes Finn’s copious, and eternal, drooling (back in style as he’s apparently getting in his eye teeth); rhymes with Kaiser Permanente.
  • Jacques the Monkey (with apologies to Peter Gabriel): Finn’s sock monkey, pal of “Rainer Maria Reendeer” (the reindeer from Reen).
  • CoCo: Finn-ese for “Carol”
  • [Previous Babyslang Entries]

    Categories
    Babyslang

    Babyslang 5

    The silly wordplay continues at Chez Nack:

    • Technosceptre: Any remote control, as wielded by King Finnegan as he patrols the realm
    • Dairy Van Dyck: Milk mustache
    • Guttock: The belly. “Did you have a nice meal, Finny? Well I hope you left enough room for Daddy’s *fist*, because now I’m going to RAM IT INTO YOUR GUTTOCK!!”–followed by mutual cackling. ūüėČ
    • Katz Fancy: Patterned after Cat Fancy, it’s a magazine for kids who share Finn’s love of Karen Katz‘s lift-the-flap stylings
    • SimulBite: Finn hasn’t entirely learned to finish one bite of food before taking on the next. This leads to us offering him one bite (let’s say green beans), only to discover the presence of an earlier one (e.g. a goldfish cracker). It must make for some weird taste combos!
    • The Tracheal Heisman: One stiff Finny arm to the Mom/Dad’s throat. “You *know* what I’m talkin’ about! (imitates being strangled) EeearraAAAaagh!” — Mom
    Categories
    Babyslang

    Mo’ Betta Babyslang

    In our continued efforts to make ourselves intelligible to the outside world, Margot and I have rounded up & explained some of the recent nonsense we’ve coined:

    • PEP — Paternal Exhaustion Plan: Describes the now-nightly roughhousing Finn and I do before bathtime & bed. Gotta get that little sucker good and tired!
    • SCS — Second-Chance Snax: Finn is our little goat, scavenging all manner of fallen Cheerios and other chow-shrapnel from the area under his high chair.
    • Queso al Suelo — Literally “Floor Cheese,” but doesn’t it sound more sophisticated?
    • Bobs — Short for “bottles”. Can be used as a verb, as in “Do you want to bob-up Finn?”
    • Greet’ems — As in, “Finny’s awake. Do you want to do greet’ems?” It’s a corruption of “Greedums,” which I sometimes label Margot when she’s not sharing food, etc. (“I’m never greedy! You’re the greedy one!” she protests.)
    • Dirty Dipes (Done Dirt Cheap) — Kinda self-explanatory, and sung to an AC/DC riff
    • Finny Scent: Closely related to the previous item, and a play on the name of the rapper 50 Cent (“Fitty Cent”).
    • Kickandalo — Our fake-Spanish way of saying “Kickin’ it,” aka “Partying”

    [For more slang see previous entries 1, 2, and 3.]

    Categories
    Babyslang Milestones

    The Big Ocho

    Today marks Der Finnster’s 8-month birthday. To celebrate (well, mostly coincidentally), he balanced on his feet unassisted for the first time! I had him up and tottering for a couple of seconds this morning, and this evening he was up for even longer. (I’d like to think it was for 8 seconds, a la bull riding. ;-))
    In miscellaneous news, we’ve coined more Finn argot lately (building on the first installment from earlier in the year):

    • Up up up, up up up…: Finn has lately discovered the concept of “Up,” and he’s waaaay into our fascinating light fixtures. Every morning when Margot gets him out of the crib, his eyes make a beeline for the lights (even when they’re off). I feel like this should all be in some book–Their Eyes Were Watching GE or something.
    • ICAS: I’ve dubbed Finn’s little hooded PJ’s the “In-Crib Adventure Suit.”
    • DipeCon: You know how the military has five DEFCON levels to denote the current security situation? We’ve implemented a “DipeCon” system to inform each other of… well, the condition of our friend’s pants. Probably enough said. (Call it “Threat Condition Brown.”)
    • TEAR IT APART: This is what Finn will try to do with anything he can get into his clutches/mouth these days. He’s all about grabbing things (strings, leaves, napkins) and yanking them in opposite directions, ideally while holding them over his head. Where possible he lands some vicious blows with his 7 sharp teeth–great for ripping up little bits of rug while dad gets distracted. I keep imagining him saying, “Hey, that’s a great phone charger, Dad. Mind if I TEAR IT APART??”
    • Toro Leg: Now that he’s found his feet, our buddy likes to paw at things (grass, fringe on carpet, etc.) before putting any weight on them.

    P.S. We can now add another “ocho” to The Big Ocho. Another tooth, his 8th, just broke through. –Notorious M.O.M.

    Categories
    Babyslang

    Scorn & Quash the Corn n’ Squash

    Goofballs that we are, we keep coming up with tons of new argot for all things Finn-related. Sometimes exhaustion has something to do with it, too, as in the case of “Scorn and Quash.” That’s what happens to Gerber Corn and Squash baby food when it’s being offered by Zombie-mom to little Finno.
    Here are a few other terms we’ve coined:

    • Bug-Eyed Larry: What Finn becomes when moving from the brightly lit kitchen to his more dimly lit bedroom after bath time. His eyes become saucer-sized!
    • Dipetorium: The changing table
    • Eye-rubba: (or “I, Rubba”) what a verrrry tired FInn does when he’s ready to go down for a nap or down for the night
    • Hooteling: Finn’s happy sounds, in the crib, on the play mat, while in the stroller. A series of slightly falsetto hooting/cooing sounds
    • Dr. Drey: As you know, we call Finn the Squirrel. A squirrel’s nest (Finn’s crib) is a drey. John’s love of old-school rap morphed our Squirrel into Dr. Drey!
    • Smear the Mirror: The game we play when Finn reaches for his reflection. [Time to invest in more Windex. –J.]