Micronaxx

…and I do mean demands!

Finny has entered the wonderful stage of making earnest, repetitive, targeted demands. And, since nothing gets by Mr. Henry, he is definitely aping his brother’s less-than-polite tactics for getting what he wants. It’s as if we haven’t been reminding them to “say please, say thank you” repeatedly day after day for years! Some examples (and believe me, this is a sharply abridged list!):

Finny:

“I want more milk! I want cinnamon toast! I don’t want toast, I want cereal! I want to watch Thomas! Mom-o, stop talking to me! Henry, stop playing with my trucks!”

Henry:

“I want truck videos! I want my trucks! I need my two Ollies! I waaaaaaant iiiiiiit! I dropped my _____, get it for me! Wipe my hands off! ” And, immediately upon waking the day after Halloween: “I want candy!”

It just goes on and on. I imagine being on the receiving end of the constant demands must feel somewhat like an old-school stockbroker shouting and signaling futilely in the middle of the insanely crowded trading floor. We stand firm and don’t move a muscle until there’s a “please” added to turn the demand into a request!

[I think Finn might actually need conflict right now, for whatever reason. He can be what seems like deliberately crazy, trying to get a rise out of us. For example, after trick or treating the other night, while I was putting Henry down Finn silently helped himself to a huge pile of M&M’s. I wasn’t pleased, but I didn’t make a big deal of it, and I said he could have more in the morning. “You said I can’t have any in the morning!!” he wailed, over and over, despite my protests. It was so irrational, so arbitrary-seeming, that I figured he must somehow need the battle. (Well, that and his poor tired bod was undergoing an epic sugar crash!) –J.]

Henry despises having his hair washed. He hollers, cries, squirms and complains about getting his hair washed Every. Single. Time. We’ve had him watch his brother stay calm and cool during the whole process, hoping he’d observe and learn. We’ve tried all sorts of techniques to make the hairwashing more pleasant. We’ve even tried to wash his hair as infrequently as possible, but he’s a little boy, and the grime builds up fast!

Finally, we came up with a bribe (a chocolate-covered raisin) and an accompanying chant (a bathtime chanty?) that goes a little something like this: “Calm and cool and you get a RAI-sin!” We sing it over and over while we wash Henry’s hair, to remind him that he can stay cool, and also to try and distract him from the proceedings. Finny even sings along with us. The phrasing is based on one of the guys’ favorite cartoon characters, Fireman Sam, whose theme song admonishes listeners to stay “cool and calm” when they hear that fire alarm. The little song actually seems to work for little Hen, who tries very hard to settle down, knowing that the coveted raisin is coming!

We find that we’re advising the guys–and ourselves–to stay cool and calm quite a bit these days. Two-year old Henry,  who already has his Master of Histrionics degree, and Finny the three-and-a-half year old who’s struggling for total independence, tend to lose their cool more frequently than we’d like. There are many reminders to “use your words” instead of going from zero to instant hollering/whining, reminders to share, reminders to ask for things nicely instead of grabbing and snatching, and reminders to stay cool and calm in order to achieve one’s desired results.

Every once in awhile, we can see our hard work paying off. Last night, as Finny erupted into a fit about something at the dinner table, I calmly & coolly told him his options were to chill out and stay at the table, or go to his room until he could be nice to be around. He of course chafed at his options and began to reload the barrels of his whine cannon, until I gave him The Look (you know the one, the “I mean business” look). At which point, he hopped off his chair and retreated to his room without another word. John and I looked at each other in amazement. We may have even high-fived! And when Finny came back a couple minutes later, cool and calm prevailed.

John nudged me and whispered, “I think we deserve a raisin!”

Poor Calvin’s dad. Growing up I never understood why, when asked over & over to read Hamster Huey & the Gooey Kablooie, he’d groan & roll his eyes. I get it now.

For the last several weeks (months? millennia?), Henry’s insisted that I “tell the Mater story,” recounting Rescue Squad Mater (see below) from memory. I’m a pretty transparent guy, and I guess I must’ve muttered some complaint after the thousandth telling. Today as I put him down for a nap, I thought I’d gotten away clean–until from the darkness I heard “I would like the Mater story, Dad-O!” As I was busy palming my face and heading back into his room, Henry added gleefully “…again and again!” Busted! ;-P

Ah well; someday, I know, the last thing the guys’ll want is to hear stories from the old man. For now I try to enjoy it, again and again.

As Finny might say, “Ay Dios mio!” A couple of weeks ago at “pre cool”, Henry lost his beloved little owl blankie, better known as Ollie. When John arrived at Pasitos to pick the boys up at the end of the day, Henry immediately told him about his missing buddy. None of the maestras had been able to find him after searching high and low. John told Henry that perhaps Ollie had decided to fly home and would meet Henry there. And after a quick, surreptitious text message to me, I grabbed one of our spare Ollies and had him ready and waiting!

Henry, of course, was none the wiser, and was amazed that Ollie had “flown” home on his own! Now, John and I were slightly worried that the original Ollie might show up at preschool again, and we were hoping the maestras would be savvy enough to hide him if they found him, so we could stick with the idea that there was only one buddy.

The following week, the boys went to school with buddies in tow. This time, when Dad-o arrived to pick them up, he was in for a big surprise…He walked in the door and was met by an ecstatic Henry, who exclaimed “Two Ollies!” Turns out Henry found Ollie #1 tangled up amongst his nap gear (mat, sheet, blanket), and of course he was already cuddling Ollie #2. We’re not sure if he came up with this on his own, or if one of the maestras planted the seed, but Henry came to the conclusion that the two Ollies were brothers, and that one of them had flown to preschool during the lunch break. And rather than being confused about double Ollies, he was joyful! Now he had two buddies to snuggle – what could be better?!

Ever since, Hen’s been vigilant about having both Ollies around for naptime, playtime, and bedtime. Of course, that means that we now have yet another buddy to keep track of, but it’s worth it. It is absolutely adorable to watch him cuddle both guys wearing an ear-to-ear grin.