Micronaxx The adventures of Finn & Henry

24Sep/121

Arrrrr!

Finny is our chitty-chatty, super-verbal guy. He loves narrating the adventures of his vehicles and toys, and he's always happy to meet new folks and fill them in on the important details of his life...like "Hi, I'm Finny. And this is my brother Henry. I'm four, and he's three. My favorite colors are red, yellow, green, silver, and orange..."

The noticeable thing about all this chatter is that Finny's always had a hard time correctly pronouncing his R's. They come out very soft - often sounding like W's, which is totally common among kids under 5. We're so used to it, we don't even really hear it when he says things like "Henwy" or "cahws" (cars). Of course other folks do, which has made us wonder if it's something that will resolve itself or if we'll need to take him to speech therapy to get it sorted out.

The great news is, I think he's sorting it out for himself. And I think going to bilingual Spanish preschool, with all its rolling R's, has really helped his pronunciation! In the past few weeks, I have noticed more and more hard R's creeping into his words. He's actually working so hard he over-pronounces them, and the R's are comically noticeable since he's really growling out those R's! CaRRRRs, HenREE, cARRRpet, TRiscuits, and so on.

I'm sure at some point, the new correctly-pronounced R's will sound totally normal, but for now, it sounds so unfamiliar to my ear, it's like listening to someone with a British accent try to sound American!

[Great post, hon. I think it's time we got Finny his very own keyboard, don't you? See below.
-- Love, Dad-O-in-Seattle (who enjoys getting corrected on his Spanish pronunciation by El Finnstero. 🙂 ) --J.]

14Sep/120

Transient Witticisms: Decapitation, Allergies, & NASA’s Poop

  • Li'l gasbag Henry is making excuses: "I have allergies, Dad-O. That's why I keep farting on you."
  • Vehicular:
    • I attempt to explain mid-engine vs. rear-engine cars to Finn. Eyeing a Porsche 911 he says, "So, it's got room for kids??" Don't get your hopes up, lad!
    • I'm trying to convince Henry that the big red-brown thing the Shuttle drops (its external fuel tank) is not, in fact, a turd. (Seems he's not buying it.)
    • Our impatient boys are miffed: "Dad-O, preschool never teaches us how to drive real cars!!" I say there's time. "But when--kindergarten!?"
  • The 400 Blows:
    • Pool-nudist Finn doesn't appreciate my playful swatting. "Hey, this isn't a butt-cheek fiesta!" he scolds.
    • "Dad-O, can we play?" asks Finn, contemplating a toy hammer. Then he smiles: "Could we maybe decapitate Henry?"
  • "We're Irishmen," the boys announce out of the blue, "named Gerry & Mike." Er, okay… #GoIrish!
24Aug/120

Transient Witticisms: Assorted Silliness

  • Music:
    • Remarking on a hyperactive playmate, Finn observes, "Man, that kid has a lot of energy. He's like Freddy Mercury!"
    • Finn's Irish heritage is coming in handy: His Chris Cornell impression sounds *just* like a banshee.
    • Finn, having recently listened to Paul Simon, explained his pile of stuffed animals: "I'm making them my bodyguards & pals." (And yes, he's now calling me Betty, and I call him Al.)
    • Best sartorial compliment ever, courtesy of Finn: "Your black suit looks cool, Dad-O. You look like Johnny Cash!"
  • Brotherly love:
    • Finn wheels around on his too-close little bro: "Jeez, Henry, it's not 'Follow Finny Day!'" (Henry, giggling: "Yes it is!")
    • "Feliz POOPleañons, Goonie!" says Finn. ("It's años made of poop," he helpfully notes.)
  • Baños:
    • Our potty trainee gets legalistic:
      H: "I want an M&M for pooping."
      M: "Well, you didn't actually poop."
      H: "Well I *farted*!" #partialCredit
    • Finn, beaming, returns from the baño: "I really taught that pee-cake a lesson! It'll have to ask its pee-cake parents for dry clothes!"
  • Finn leads me gently through the campground. "I thought," he says, "we'd sit & have a little chat about silliness..."
21Jul/120

Transient Witticisms: Chow Hounds

  • Sugar highs:
    • The boys wake up, bouncing around.
      Finn: "We need donuts to be little champs!!"
      Henry: "Yeah, I don't have ENERGY. I'm a lazy BONE!!"
    • Finn emerges from his nap, whispering: "Remember our plan? [sings quietly] 'Sugar in the mornin', sugar in the evenin', sugar at suppertime!'"
  • My workout terminology intrigues Finn. "'Flat flies'? Sounds like you're making fly pancakes."
  • Henry turns to me: "Dad-O, I'm a pickle."
    Me: "A... what?
    H: "Yeah: I'm picking my boogies."
  • Pretzel power:
    • Southwest Airlines must season their pretzels with "bath salts," given Finn's reaction. "Aaagh, I want to suck your arm hair!!" (I suggest that he enjoy his own. "But I just have peach fuzz!!" he protests.)
    • I hear the boys singing in the kitchen: "Auntie Laura's pretzels bring all the boys to the yard/That's right, they're better than yours…"
  • Proud Moments In Fatherhood: 4yo nudist streaks past brandishing a beef jerky stick while chanting, "Bang me in the head with a meat stick!"
21Jun/120

Transient Witticisms: From Crookdegarten to Schwarzenegger

  • Terminology:
    • "Dad-O, do kid crooks go to kindergarten?" asks Finn. "Yeah," says Henry, "it's called 'Crookdegarten!'"
    • Finn's telling Margot about "the South": "It's hillbillies driving in circles all day. They call it 'NICECAR.'" (I've taught him well.)
    • "Mom-O, we're not getting you any cake for Mother's Day," says Finn, "just some sand & a bag of guff!" ("Is guff Gummi?" asks Henry.)
    • Finn's increasingly fascinated by Schwarzenegger. "Do *ost*riches also come from *Aust*ria?"
    • "Look at that plane pulling a frog book!" Henry says, seeing a plane towing a Geico gecko banner.
  • Aviary:
    • Finn on nature this AM: "Dad-O, I hear birds tweeting! I think they're using Twitter! (Can you tweet that?)" Love the monster we've made 🙂
    • Finn & I are exploring nature.
      Me: "Hear those birds tweeting, bud?"
      Finn: "Yeah--I think they have tiny iPads."
  • Exercise:
    • "Do more sets, Dad-O!!" insists my 4yo weight trainer. "You're doing that resting thing where your heart gets all small!"
    • Nudist Finn is attempting to "skate" across our room on Perfect Push-Ups, all while singing Rocky's theme. "Getting *strong* nooow…" That's my boy!
    • Finn swings by, bends over, and kisses my chest. "I'm giving you a peck on the pec!" he explains.
6Jun/121

Transient Witticisms: Dinner & A Movie

  • Food:
    • I taught the boys a bit about Teddy Roosevelt.
      "'Speak softly...'" whispers Finn.
      "Yeah," says Henry, "'...and carry a big snack!'"
    • Finn's growing antsy after dinner out. "I wanna do that dash-and-dine technique!"
    • After the dentist we went to Wienerschnitzel for what Finn dubs "emergency corn dogs."
    • Finn's skeptical that Leo could've been bathed/dried so fast. (Margot had swapped Leos.) "I guess Mom-O must've put him in the panini press..."
  • Cinema:
    • The boys hear movie quotes on NPR.
      Finn to Henry: "You can't handle the truth!"
      Henry, indignant: "I can handle the truth!!"
    • Finn holds his filthy lion blankie to his nose, huffing deeply. "He's a 4yo Dennis Hopper," says his proud mom.
    • Naked Finn channels Daniel Day-Lewis: "If you've got a fruit bar, & I've got a fruit bar, I stretch acroooooss the room... I. Eat. Your. Fruit bar!!"
  • Star Wars:
    • Henry puts his bib over his face. "Now I'm Darth Vader!" Then he spins it around back to make his cape.
    • "'Benefits?'" asks an incredulous Finn, listening to NPR. "It's actually Boba Fetts!"
20May/120

Transient Witticisms: Music Edition

  • Classic Rock:
    • "Dad-O, I think Van Halen lives in a Led Zeppelin!"
    • "Henry and I are Steppenwolfs. We're steppin' all over!"
  • Paul Simon:
    • Finn explains his pile of stuffed animals: "I'm making them my bodyguards & pals." (And yes, he's now calling me Betty, and I call him Al.)
    • "Dad-O, I love that Paul Simon song, 'Diii-nos on a skateboard, Diii-nos on a skateboard, With nothing to lose.'" (He's singing "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes.")
  • Johnny Cash:
    • I hear Finn singing Johnny Cash to his Legos: "I shot a man named Guido, Just to watch him die…"
    • What's a terrific 7am wake-up? A yellow lion blankie poking its head around our doorway & growl-singing "Folsom Prison Blues." ("RAwr! I hear that train a-comin'...")
    • Our sugar-addled boys are tearing around the hardware store's garden section yelling "My name is SUE, how do you DO?? Now you gonna DIE!!"
    • Finn's loving Johnny Cash: "I'm building a car out of ice cream in my tummy, One Piece At A Time! (Can you tweet that?)"
    • I tried hipping the boys to OutKast's frenetic song "Hey Ya." Finn: "These guys are berserkers!" Henry: "Yeah, give us Johnny Cash!"
3May/120

Slangtastic!

I loooove me some slang. But what do I love more than slang? The fact that our family generates our own slang on a nearly constant basis. John and I are both word lovers, and we're also huge goofballs, which makes for a perfect combination when it comes to coming up with fun, unusual ways to describe otherwise dry, quotidien things. Here's a fresh installment of slang from the Naxx, both micro and macro:

Poop rock: The fake rock in the yard where we hide a spare housekey. You can probably guess what the rock looks like.

Potty shot: Why simply "go potty" when you can take a potty shot? See also: "Sor-ry for potty rockin'" (with appropriate credit to the band LMFAO)

DPT: Short for "dipetorium," which was our slang for diaper changing table. We still call the boys' dressers DPTs, which is even better now that this is a completely obsolete term.

Monster style: Putting ones shoes purposefully on the wrong feet. I can't even really remember why we call it "monster style" but the guys love it.

Beasts: Mom-O's hair clips, which both guys love to wield as they chase Dad-O around, trying to "bite" his clothing.

"Buds in the car, buds in the car…": This is our sing-song way of reminding the guys to leave their buddies (Leo and the two Ollies) in the car when we go out, so we don't lose them. Born from the infamous "Pants on the ground" song that went viral a few years back. The full Micronack version is "Buds in the car, buds in the car. Lookin' like a FOOL with your buds in the car!"

Brusha: Toothbrushing.  Heard at 7:15pm most nights, "Ok guys, time for brusha!" [See also "Sugarbugs," as in "We've gotta get those sugar bugs off your chompers." --J.]

Rubba: Eye rubbing by a tired Micronack. Heard at 7:30pm most nights, "But I'm not doing rubba, Dad-o!"

28Apr/120

Transient Witticisms: Literal Deliciousness

  • Food & Drink:
    • Finn wakes me up: "Dad-O, for breakfast I'd like a hobo sandwich."
      "A... what?," I ask.
      "Yeah," he says, "it's lettuce, hobo, cheese, and broccoli. Let's go to the train yard!"
    • "Trees have nests for birds & squirrels," Henry notes.
      "Yeah," adds Finn, "and cupboards have nests of dishes."
    • "Dad-O, a sucker would be delicious for Leo," Finn opines. "It'd blow his mind--and his mind is made of meat!!"
    • Finn overhears me saying that in German housing there was "no bubble." He's incredulous: "The Germans don't have agua??"
    • Finn's skeptical that Leo could've been bathed/dried so fast. (Margot swapped Leos.) "I guess Mom-O must've put him in the panini press..."
  • Gettin' Literal:
    • "A ten-story building?" asks a quizzical Finn. "Somebody must've stacked up a lot of books!"
    • Henry: "Dad-O, I dreamed about airplanes! They were flying."
      Me: "Cool! And what were you doing during the dream?"
      Henry: "Sleeping."
    • "Dad-O," asks Finn, "can you get your blog out off your computer and put it onto your head?" (Interesting visual…)
14Apr/120

Transient Witticisms: Legos, Run-DMC, & Robber Seagulls

  • Legos:
    • "Come on," says Finn, drawing me towards our living room Lego zone. "Come see our Duplofications!"
    • One of our pieces snapped. "Honestly, Mom-O," says Finn, shaking his head, "I... I'm just not going to happy up about that broken Lego."
    • At bedtime: "Dad-O, my body is just hopping around saying, 'I can't wait to play with those Legos!!' But I said, 'Tummy, you can play with them mañana!"
    • Finn's threatening his Lego guys: "I'll throw you in the dungeon with Elton John & Flava Flav!" (Don't ever let your kids watch TV.)
  • Music:
    • Run-DMC's "It's Tricky" comes on. "I know there's Jam-Master Jay in there somewhere!" announces Finn.
    • Finn channels Florence & The Machine to request help with his burger: "Rip it up rip it up, Rip it up rip it up, whoOOOoah!"
    • Hearing "Sympathy for the Devil," Finn observes, "I hear a bunch of hoo-ing." We agree it's sung by a team of [scrawny, coked-up] owls.
    • I'm trying some Chili Peppers "Aeroplane" on the boys. "This makes my mind blow away!" says Hen.
    • Henry's confused by the song "Indian Outlaw." "His baby is a Chippewa? Actually a baby is a fetus."
  • Of birds & names:
    • I kinda wish All Things Considered were hosted, as Finn believes it is, by "Robber Seagull."
    • I dreamt our boys hung out with Jason Segel (who, full grown, claimed to be two and a half). Finn's incredulous: "Jason Seagull??"
    • "Dad-O, why is it called Twitter?"
      "Well, it sounds kinda like birds tweeting."
      "Oh, so it's called 'blah blah.'" (Verbatim, I swear!)
29Mar/121

Transient Witticisms: Food, Music, & More

  • "You don't have to hold my hand, Finny," I say.
    "I want to!," he protests. "There's a lot of people here & I don't want to get captured!"
  • "Dad-O, do you see what I'm doing?" asks Finn. "I'm getting my muscles a little bit stronger & heavier so I can do special techniques!"
  • Music
    • I told the kids I'm visiting a guy named Stu today. "A Boy Named Stu??" asked Finn.
    • "Dad-O, when I'm older we'll get a dog who *won't* chew kids' toys, and we'll name him Paul Simon!"
    • "Pumped-Up Kicks?" Finn says incredulously. "I thought Kix were cereal."
    • Listening to "Another One Bites The Dust." Finn: "That Freddie Markery is a weird guy, Dad-O. 'Hangin' on the edge of your sink'?"
  • Chow:
    • I've raised a 4yo son who, in the middle of McDonald's & out of the blue, yells "Captain Sullenberger? Captain Cheeseburger!!" I rule. 🙂
    • "When it's your birthday, do you have to eat real food, or can you just eat cake?" asks a hopeful, birthday-eve Finn.
    • The boys brandish curly straws.
      Henry: "This is my sales tool!"
      Me: "Your... what??"
      Finn: "Yeah, they help managers!"
      (No idea, I swear!)
    • The lads are debating anatomy over breakfast:
      F: "Elephants are meat."
      H: "Noo!"
      F: "*You're* meat!"
      H: "But my *bones* are not meat!!"
  • Neighbor kids invite us to their treehouse. "It's our secret lavatory!" Boy I hope that's not true.
  • We're playing pirates out back. "You make me peel potatoes, Dad-O," says Finn. "I'm your galley sleeve!"
13Mar/121

Transient Witticisms: Hen-speak

  • Henry's jealous of Finn's March birthday.
    H: "I don't want July! I want a different month!"
    Me: "Like what?"
    H: "Um... San Francisco!"
  • Henry sees the globe on Continental planes: "Those are raccoon airplanes. They have stripey tails!"
  • Hen channels his mom: Rolling on the floor he says, "My back is hurting. I'm doing exercises." And then, "My back wants truck videos!"
  • Henry's learning "sorry."
    H: "Sorry I puked all over, Dad-O."
    Me: "Oh, you don't have to be sorry, bud."
    H: "Sorry I apologized."
  • "What are *these*, Dad-O?" asks Henry, fingering my forehead wrinkles. Been asking myself that, son.
  • On speakerphone the conf. call system says, "Press the pound key."
    "Press the palm tree!" grins Henry. "Robot lady said it!"
  • "It's not Christmas anymore, Mad Birds," declares Henry. "Take off your party helmets!"
28Feb/120

Transient Witticisms: Big men knowin’ some stuff

  • M: "Finny, you are my sunshine."
    F: "Yeah, and the Lego chopper pilots are *my* sunshine!"
  • Big guys:
    • Finn notices me dawdling on Twitter. "Time for you to hit the shower, Big Man!" he declares.
    • Finn, to Margot's six-foot-four dad: "Grandpa, when you grow up, you'll be as tall as a GIANT!!"
    • "I moved Henry's fragile truck," Finn tells me from the couch, "so you wouldn't shatter it with your big ol' Dad-O butt." #verbatim
  • "I'm Captain Sully, Dad-O," Finn advises me from the jungle gym. "I'm watching out for birds so we don't end up in the Hudson!"
  • Finn's taken to telling me bedtime stories, then wrapping up with "And THAT, my Dad-O, is the end of that!"
  • Rebuffed by Margot at the park, Finn tells us, "Well, I'm not gonna deal with a person who doesn't ride the roller coaster!"
  • Bird-like bits:
    • "Dad-O, I found you a new pecker!" declares Finn, brandishing a stick (y'know, for peck-peck-pecking). Sometimes I sure love my life. 🙂
    • After "pecking" the boys with a stick, I discarded it in the driveway. "Oh no, Dad-O," said Finn, "Don't let the Ocho run over your pecker!"
  • "Yeah, I know you have to get money to pay for things--like the gazebo." -- Finn, mourning our return to work.
23Feb/120

Transient Witticisms: Germans, Creatures, & Chaos

  • Deutschland:
    • "Moin moin moin moin moin moin!" says Finn.
      "Could you stop that?" asks Margot.
      "No," he says, "I'm a German!"
    • "Peanuts are green," sings Finn, "roses are red... and Germans are crazy!" (Sorry, Germans! :))
    • Henry, just now: "Is Mom-O talking to Germans?"
      Me: "Yep."
      Finn: "No! Nein nein nein nein!!"
  • Creatures:
    • "I'm a Clark, Dad-O," Henry reports.
      "You're a… 'Clark'?," I ask.
      "Yeah. In the dark, in a park." #OneFishTwoFish
    • I overhear Finn yelling at a strange green seed pod: "Get over here, you darn... Boba Fett!"
    • "What's that guy, Dad-O?"
      "It's a daddy longlegs."
      "And that one?"
      "Uh... that's a daddy fatbutt."
      I am a tremendous educational resource.
  • Chaos:
    • "You need to look after me, Dad-O," Finn tells me, "or"--eyes twinkling--"I might have to cause *mayhem*!"
    • Finn helpfully corrects my reading of an ABC book: "M is for 'Mayhem,' V is for 'Volvo,' and P is for 'Pee!'"
18Feb/120

Transient Witticisms: Fun with Food

  • "What's inside an avocado, Dad-O?," wonders Finn.
    "Well, there's a pit..." I begin.
    "Yeah," he adds, "and guacamole!!"
  • Thoughtful 2yo Henry, returning from a 9am grocery store run: "Dad-O may you drink some beer, please?"
    NOW it's a Christmas break.
  • Marching off to grab my beverage, 2yo Henry gleefully announces, "Coke is SPICY, for NOT ME!!"
  • Tonight's culinary innovation: "Kid on the Cob." Req. tender thigh of tot, aged 2-3 yrs. Serves large helpings of hilarity, family-style.
  • Margot to Finn on Saturday morning: "Want a corn dog, hon?"
    Finn: "No, I only eat corn dogs on the weekend."
  • Having learned about farm implements in Galena, Finn asks me, "Is there a big blade in our tummies to mix up the food?"
  • Surprise: your keyboard includes an "ice cream cone" key. This according to 2yo Henry (viewing Volume Up sideways).
  • Finn's parting comment to Margot as she tucked him in: "I assume there will be breakfast in the morning?" 😀
14Feb/120

Transient Witticisms: A Little Baño Music

We haven't done a wrap-up like this since October (!), so here's a belated round-up of the guys' little sayings since then.

  • Music:
    • I body slam Finno in the laundry room. He sings back, "I fell into a burning ring of hamper…!"
    • I catch Finn singing our neighbor's name into the tune of "Thunderstruck": "oohOOWahahAAHow, PAB-LO!"
    • Hipped the boys to AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" via YouTube chopper videos. Henry asks, "What is that baby [Brian Johnson] crying about?"
    • "Foom foom FOOM Foom foom!" Finn sings to Henry this morning. "Reality hits you *hard*, bro!"
    • Finn's running around, sticking phrases into "Ride of the Valkyries" (e.g. "Open the SANDbox, open the SANDbox…!") That. Is. My. BOY! 😀
    • Oddest mash-up, courtesy of our son: Peter Gabriel meets Sandra Boyton. "I want to be, your personal Sledgehammer…"
    • Young Henry considers YouTube: "I would like some... Foxy Lady. I would like... more Garth."
    • After hearing LMFAO's "Party Anthem," Finn compulsively claws at his ear: "Get it out!!"
  • El Baño:
    • "Maybe we could come to Guatemala with you, Dad-O," notes Finn, "but I don't want the kids to sit on my lap & pee on me."
    • "Adios, poop!" waves a cheerful Finn. "See ya later when the toilet backs up!"
    • Margot says I'm "guilty as charged.""Yeah," says Finn, "you're guilty ASS-charged!!"("Guilty ass-poop," adds Henry.)
    • "I'm having a massive poop, Dad-O," announces wee Henry. "It's gonna *scare* me!!" (He claims it has arms & legs to hunt him down.)
    • Henry emerges from the basement & finds Mom-O upstairs: "I heard the potty stop so I came up."
      M: "You're a smart boy, Hen."
      H: "Yes I am!"Modest, too. 🙂
    • "Sorry for party rocking, Dad-O," Henry tells me.
      "Sorry for potty rocking," corrects Finn.
14Jan/122

Werds

We get a huge kick out of our boys' verbal stylings. Sometimes, they simply can't quite pronounce a word correctly, and the results are pretty funny. But other times, (thanks to their goofy Mom-o and Dad-o) they've picked up the tendency to play around with language and create a lot of their own words. Here's a little sampling of both sorts:

Confibian: a vehicle that operates on both land and in water
Deppity: The sheriff's right hand man
Trankalizer: what you shoot into the butt of a rampaging dinosaur
Toothpoke: what Dad-o likes to use on his teeth after a meal
Constructions: what you have to read in order to build Lego helicopters
Hasta Moo-Lego: Micronaxx interpretation of "hasta luego"

7Nov/110

Finnegreens

A "mondegreen" is a misheard lyric or phrase--for example, Jimi Hendrix wailing "'Scuse me while I kiss this guy" (instead of "kiss the sky").  Small children are of course masters of this art, and here are some recent entries:


  • "Dad-O, what is a 'To-fu Panda'?," Finn asked yesterday.  The guys are familiar with tofu, but they don't know about Kung-Fu or about Kung-Fu Panda.
  • In the car Finn began crooning, "I've got Moose-Like Jacket." This was, I think, a great improvement on the Maroon 5 song he had in mind, "Moves Like Jagger."  I'll bet such a jacket would be great for "taking [one's] guts to town," as Finn says.  He's heard Johnny Cash singing about "don't take your guns to town, son," and has protested "But we need to take our guts! Otherwise the food would fall onto the ground!!"

G-Man isn't quite to Finn's level, of course, but he's getting there: This weekend he overheard me telling my friend Matthew about the window glass, and he asked, "Is there a drink in the glass?"

[For more examples, see previous.]

30Oct/110

Teutonic Theorizing

What the heck is "Germany," and who are "Germans"? If you asked the Micronaxx, you'd probably hear that it's a land of pirates, peopled by hamburger-eating dudes with tiny eyes (wearing tiny glasses). After all, we've decked the boys out in jolly roger shirts and devised a whole piratical mythology about Hamburg. Anyway, we've had a couple of funny exchanges on the subject:

As Margot was on an early morning conference call with her team, Henry asked, "Is Mom-O talking to Germans?"
"Yep," I told him.
Finn-O jumped in: "No! Nein nein nein nein!!"

Later, after hearing me blow off some steam regarding my job, he began to sing: "Peanuts are green, roses are red... and Germans are crazy!" ;-p

7Oct/110

Transient Witticisms (Finn Vol. 3)

  • Music:
    • We're in the car, hipping Finn to Johnny Cash: "'Don't take your guts to town'? But we have to: they're in our tummies!"
    • "Strawberry bushes forever!" sings Finn, listening to the Beatles. He chuckles & shakes his head: "Johnny Cash…!"
    • Finn applies a pliers to his Pirate's Booty snack: "I'm Dr. Bootycrusher!!" (Future R&B alter ego, maybe?)
  • Patience:
    • Our poor amigo is feeling neglected: "Would you like your iPad taken by bad dudes?" he asks me. "Uh, no... Would *you* like them to take it?" I ask. "Yes!!"
    • At Target Finn points at Mom-O's shopping list: "I think right here it says 'Duh-un,DONE!'"
    • Rebuffed by Margot at the park, Finn tells us, "Well, I'm not gonna deal with a person who doesn't ride the roller coaster!"
  • Areas of expertise:
    • "The idea," Finn's advising Margot, "is don't eat a massive burrito and then go on a bunch of rides; otherwise you'll puke like Uncle Ted."
    • "Blood is in the whole body," Dr. Finn tells his little bro, "except the crotch & butt-crotch."
  • A smirking Finn sneaks up behind me as I try to work from home: "I see you've found a pleasant hiding spot…"
  • Morning news: "Dad-O, I dreamed I cooked an egg under a fruit bar wrapper, and Henry took it, and then he gave me a smack in the butt!"
  • "I want a huge bag of ear gunk!" Finn declares, eyeing a Costco bag of Cheeze-Its. Draw your own conclusions.
  • Bambinos:
    • "Dad-O, does Alethea have two babies in her tummy?" "Nope, just one." "Then why does she have two boobs?" Aaand, cue that conversation.
    • "Baby Tegan can't talk," reports Finn, "but she can shriek. Her shrieking-sound is like a chicken--a bizarre chicken!!"
  • "So Finny, how was your Thomas video?" "Good. The diesels gave Thomas a wedgie, even though steamies don't wear underpants."